Because it never fails. I cry. I keep it inside. But, still. I cry. Water escapes out my eyes. I can't help it. Anyway, in two days, I'm gonna cry.
My daughter's Catholic school has a tradition both at the beginning of the year and at the end of the year. There's a 'Start Of School Mass' and an 'End of School Mass.' At the end of each of these Masses, the entire student body sings a song while doing sign language.
So approximately 300 kids...1st grade to 8th grade...all sing this song. The first time I witnessed this I looked around and saw all these kids singing this song and doing sign language. Within moments, I was a utter lump of flesh unable to stand. My wife looked at me and wondered why water was coming out my eyes. I don't know. Sometimes...things just sorta hit ya. It was the earnestness. The utter innocence. Kids. Ya know? Good kids.
Well, this year I am prepared. I have special glasses that will prevent anyone from seeing that I am overcome with emotion. These glasses look like I've just had major eye surgery and am 80 years old and am a dangerous driver. But I don't care. I need these glasses.
I know that upon hearing this song sung and signed by the kids, I will melt. And if the glasses don't work, I have a plan "B". I will drop my keys on the floor and pretend to find them. (I cannot claim this move as my own. It's my dad's. Shortly after Vatican II, a part of the Mass had us all shake hands and exchange the sign of peace. My father hated that and would pretend to tie his shoes. Or, he would pretend he had an infectious disease. Or, he would simply say, "I hate you.")
Regardless, when the kids all sit in the pews and sing this song I will have the sniffles. So, here's plan "C". I plan to wear a shirt that says, "I Have Allergies And Am Not Overly Emotional".
Here's plan "D". When people hear me crying, I will tell them I am rehearsing for an audition. The role is for a monkey who is lost and recovering from heat rash. Very severe heat rash. A heat rash so nasty as to make the monkey cry a lot.
Anyway, it's a few days away. I'm already weeping just thinking about watching these kids sing, but I have special glasses so you can't tell. Ha ha.
So, here is the song they do. It's religious, so if you can't handle that, move on...