A FROYNLAVEN INVESTIGATIVE REPORT - CANADA HATES ME

A review of pictures from a family vacation in Whistler (in Canada which is another country. It's very clean but they say the word "couch" in an odd way) has proved shocking.

The above sentence wasn't written very well. So, I'm going to redo it without all the Canada stuff.

A review of pictures from a family vacation in Whistler has proved shocking.

My wife made reservation for us to all go zip-lining through the tall trees that Canada has a lot of.

I'm not a fan of heights, but she assured me it would be enjoyable. It was. Very.

But as I looked at the pictures of said zip-lining excursion, I discovered something horrifying. Canadians don't like me. I don't know why. I like them. Oh, they may say they like me. But, when the think nobody is looking, they don't like me.
They like my wife and daughter. But me? There is a general loathing.

Perhaps some of you think I'm being to sensitive. Ha! I have the proof.

Let's do this...

The following pictures are a series of shots as we each left a platform and zip-lined over a ravine of great depth. Let's see how much the Canadians like my wife, shall we?

Here she goes. Notice how everyone is concerned for her. They want her to make it to the other side.

Here she is! Flying over the raging torrent!

Next, it was my daughter's turn.

Ahh! All eyes are upon her as she begins her treacherous journey! You can almost hear the Canadians saying, "We like that girl! What a brave little girl!"

And brave she was! But she's not the one who is afraid of heights. That would be me.

Now, let's see what happens when it's my turn.

They can't even bear to look at me. You can almost hear them say, "Him? I hope the line breaks. We hate that guy! We turn our backs on you! PAUL!"

I don't understand where this deep hatred comes from. I'm a huge fan of maple products. I like most of the products Canada exports...like Rich Little.

Why?

WHY?