Thursday, September 3, 2009


My hat's off to the people of Japan! Are you listening NORWAY? Heck, are you listening everyone else in the world? Are you listening old-school, political dynasties?

Well...move over!

There's a new political force in the world! And I for one, plan to revere them. I might even move to Japan. I have to talk it over with my wife and stuff and figure out what to do with the dogs. But I'm thinking about it. And what I say goes! Most of the time. Occasionally, anyway. Maybe not that often. But sometimes what I say goes!

I better slow down a bit. But I'm so excited and in awe and excited and in awe and stuff that I need to remind myself to breathe.

Last week, the people of Japan elected a new Prime Minister. His name is Yukio Hatoyama. He's gonna clean up their mess over there. I don't know much about their mess, but evidently it's a real mess. I could research it but with things being so hectic and crazy and stuff, there's not a lot of time. Just know, they have a mess and Yukio Hatoyama is gonna kick ass cleaning it up. Got it?

But, that's not the best part. The best part is his wife. Here's here picture. I've blown it up and made it bigger because I think she's AWESOME! Here's her picture!

Now here's the same picture, except it's just of her left eye.

I kinda hoped that would have been bigger. But, who cares. That's not the point. The point is that the new first lady of Japan is someone I CAN RESPECT. AND I SHALL! ALWAYS!

Her name is MIYUKI HATOYAMA. And she has traveled to the planet Venus!

At last! Someone has the guts to admit to something like that.

She claims (and I have no reason to believe it's not true) that one night while she slept, her spirit rode on a triangular UFO and went to Venus. She said it was green and very lovely. Now some of pathetic skeptics...might think it's not true. Especially since we know venus looks like this:

We know it looks like this because the Soviet Union sent a few probes to the surface of Venus back in the 70's. Most of the probes lasted a few minutes before tremendous heat and pressure made them all melty. So some of you STUPID SKEPTICS might say going to Venus isn't possible. You stupid, dumb skeptics make me sick. EVER THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE GONE THERE IN THE SPRING? HUH? THAT EVER OCCUR TO YOU DUMBHEADS!

She went to Venus! Okay! And Mark my words. As Miyuki Hatoyama becomes more popular and people start hearing the truth...and she becomes more popular, Michelle Obama is going to all of a sudden say she's been to Jupiter.

The people of Japan have made a very wise choice. This is an awesome lady.

Oh, and not only has she been to Venus. She's been abducted by aliens and she knew Tom Cruise in a past life when he was Japanese.

Here's a picture of her hair.


  1. You do realize that her husband, Yukio Hatoyama, is nicknamed "Alien" right? (or 宇宙人... I wonder if Freakazoid! ever made it to Japan.......ホイル!!)

    Anyway, that's old picture of the couple. A more recent one makes her look like an aging Lily Munster (complete with skunk stripe).

  2. O_o Wow. Thats almost as good as Kim Jong Ill promising the people of North Korea that he would drag the moon down to earth and anchor it to a pedestal shaped like his hand. True story.

  3. Uh, Squirrely, that's not a true story; it's a joke video from The Onion.

  4. No, if you saw it on the internet, it must be true. So says Al Gore. And Pauly Shore. And Louis L'Amour. And Michael Rappaport.

    And other people whose names rhyme with "oar."

    I don't know why it's true, but I read that on the internet, so it must be.

  5. i wish MY spirit was taken by aliens..

  6. I agree with Craig, whose last name is so awesome I can't bear to type it.

    Well now Japan is in league with the aliens of Venus. I'm not sure how to feel about this. I guess Japan is our puppet government so their relations with aliens are really ours right? Win!

  7. Sigh. No one seems to get when I'm being facetious. LEARN TO SARCASM!

  8. Sarcasm? As if I would even know what that is...

    ...after a quarter century of internet use.

    A fine art indeed. Some are more artistic than others.

    Bryan, never mind Freakazoid going to Japan. Has he ever been to Venus? We know he's been to Uranus; we've read the tabloid reports.

  9. Space Lady's hair is indeed awesome, but let's not underestimate the cultural value of the alien Prime Minister's own cheerful Mary Tyler Moore flip.

  10. Keeper, surley Mo-Ron has taken him to another planet at some point... after he remembered how to operate his ship..

  11. Dear Mr. Froynlaven

    Here on Venus, the Earthling named Miyuki Hatayama is known as "the Lady with a Skunk for a Hat." She is a beloved celebutard on our planet. Posters and ceramic figurines of her are very popular and sell briskly at the Duty-Free shops at our space ports.

    We enjoy your blog very much and share your skepticism toward Norway.

    best wishes for harvest,

    Scabulon Bromidian
    320 Meepsnort Drive
    ZsaZsa City, Venus