Monday, April 30, 2012

Pitching Animated Shows

Whenever I speak at universities or car factories, the same question is invariably asked of me: "How do you get a network to buy an idea for an animated series?"

I always answer this question differently and try make it as confusing as possible.

You see, the television animation business is a crowded place. And I'll do anything I can to get a leg up on the competition.  The last thing I want is some snot-nosed, animation school graduate to muscle in on my turf with his or her fresh ideas and newfangled characters. I have a family to feed. I have a dog missing a foot. While this isn't expensive now, it could be. The government might pass a law requiring me to make my dog "whole" by giving him a new foot. That probably won't be cheap. And I have to be ready. There's probably a lot of blood work and grafting and gross stuff. Gross stuff costs a pretty peeny. (You probably think I made a mistake there and meant to write 'penny'. I didn't. A peeny is a new form of currency my neighbor is developing. I've seen it and it's real.)

So, yeah. I say a lot of confusing stuff to throw potential animation writers off the trail.

But I'll tell you Froynlaven readers the truth. After all, some of you are paying close to 100 dollars a month to subscribe to this blog, so I think I owe it to you. (If you are not currently paying close to 100 dollars a month to subscribe to this blog, would you take a moment to consider it? Please? I already told you about my dog, right? What if I threw in a tote bag?)

So here's the straight scoop: networks buy ideas that are good. The gooder the better. Sometimes they buy mediocre ideas in the hope of making them good. And a lot of times they buy good ideas and make them mediocre. But generally they are looking for a good idea. That's the secret. And now you know. Good ideas. That's what the networks want.

And it just so happens I have five good ideas that I'm toying with right now. These are really good. Pitch season is coming up and I'm really trying to narrow any of these five good ideas down to the one good idea I'm going to pitch. I thought maybe...maybe you all wouldn't mind giving them a read and letting me know which you think is the goodest of the best. I know I'm taking a bit of a risk by putting my best stuff out there. But, I trust you all. You're paying 100 bucks a month. Why wouldn't I trust you.

So, okay. Here are the five ideas. Just lemme know which one is your favorite. Okay? Thanks. (Some of these I have titles for. Some I don't.)

1. Untitled Horse Project. There are these horses and they talk and junk. And there's one horse who is sarcastic. And sometimes he gets in over his head and junk happens.

2. Untitled Bee Project. There are these bees and they all talk and junk. And there's one bee who is sarcastic. And sometimes he gets in over his head and junk happens.

3. Possum Boy. There are these possums and they all talk and junk. And there's one possum (Possum Boy) who is sarcastic. And sometimes he gets in over his head and junk happens.

4. Mighty Diatoms. There are these diatoms and they all talk and junk. And there's one diatom who is sarcastic. And sometimes he gets in over his head and junk happens.

5. Untitled Project. I haven't figured this one out entirely.

Please don't steal any of these! But let me know your favorite.

Friday, April 20, 2012

A Froynlaven Musical Challenge Is Coming

Monday I shall announce a Froynlaven Musical Challenge so monumental, I am going to do it myself. What will it be? The last blog post provides a clue. Get ready, mates.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Pause That Refreshes

Take a moment today. I don't care when. I don't care how. I don't care where. But take a moment, sit alone and breath in the following song. Something tells me you'll turn that frown upside down. Ready?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lazy Paul Rugg Ousted At Froynlaven

Los Angeles - In yet another stunning shakeup at Froynlaven, Wendy Thomasina-Shmenz, President of Shmenz Communications Inc., the parent company of Froynlaven, has announced the firing of Lazy Paul Rugg as the blog's Editor-In-Chief.

Wendy Thomasina-Shmentz
Thomasina-Shmenz's announcement puts an end to months of speculation as to Lazy Paul Rugg's future at the fledging blog. Sources close to the situation have confirmed that Thomsina-Shmentz had grown increasingly annoyed at Lazy Paul Rugg's productivity, or, as one anonymous source is quoted as saying: "Total lack thereof."

Thomasina-Shmentz is rumored to have threatened Lazy Paul Rugg with a baseball bat on numerous occasions. Tina Winkler-Boxwood, a close friend of Thomasina-Shmentz, confided to sources that Thomasina-Shmentz tried repeatedly to get Lazy Paul Rugg to stop puttering around the house and write something on the blog. "She even snuck those iddy biddy bottles of 5 Hour Energy into his tea. But it didn't work. He continued to be totally unproductive, but in a wired sort of way."


Buck Castro
Buck Castro, who covers the blogosphere for Turkish Media, says it was only a matter of time before Lazy Paul Rugg got "totally fired for being lame. He hasn't done anything for months. Nothing. I hate him and his fat face. A squirrel would be better than him! A squirrel from Turkey! We have many squirrels in Turkey. You should visit our country and see our squirrels. They are quite friendly and hardly ever bite. Except during festival, but that's only once every three years. Our squirrels are incredibly tame and will take a benzor (peanut) from your mouth, provided your lips are pursed in an exact manner. We have a pamphlet on the proper technique which can be found at all our airports and busways. For a small fee, Tahoozies (guides) will accompany you to many of Turkey's squirrel andolaors (places). Here they will not only eat benzors (peanuts) from your mouth, but other ludi (small morsels or pellets) as well. Hatooms (grapes), Flekulata (compressed hay compote) and meki (gluten rind) are all loved by squirrels from your mouth. Talk to your travel agent about making Squirrel watching in Turkey part of your travel plans."

Thomasina-Shmentz named Productive Paul Rugg as Lazy Paul Rugg's replacement. "Productive Paul Rugg will bring his years of productivity and zeal to Froynlaven," Thomasina-Shmentz said. "And if he doesn't, I'll fire his butt, too."

Story filed by Wallace Ovite
Blog World Quarterly