Tuesday, May 5, 2009


This very morning my Sherpa, Linghot, and I traversed the final 100 feet and reached our goal. My friends! We have conquered Everest! I can't believe it!

Luckily, I have brought along my satellite phone and texting device. I'm going to take a picture. My hands are very cold. But, I think I should take a picture since we've come all this way and it would be a shame to not get a picture.

Okay. I just took the picture. I'll uplink it now. 

Wow! Isn't technology amazing? Here I am on Mount Everest and I just took this picture! That's me on the left. Linghot is on the right. He can breathe up here! He sure is a strong, little Sherpa! Me? I like my oxygen! Ha ha ha ha!

Okay. Uhm, Linghot is telling me something. The wind is really strong up here so it's kinda hard to hear. Plus, Linghot has such a tiny, little Sherpa voice. His accent is funny. It makes me laugh. Ha ha ha ha! You should hear the way he says, "Sweetbreads." It sounds like, "Seatbeds." Ha ha ha.

Okay. Linghot says we have to go. Only the way he says it sounds like, "We hab to bo!" Ha ha ha. He's such a little Sherpa. I'm gonna get another picture of him saying, "We hab to bo."

Okay, Linghot is pretty adamant about us going. He says there's no time for any more pictures. He said, "No pime no picky!" Ha ha ha. What a little Sherpa.

Okay. Linghot is grabbing me now and pointing down. I think he really wants us to go. Something about wind. He's saying, "Bad stay. Wind us blowy way. Much hard to stand." Ha ha! Isn't that cute? People who aren't Americans are so cute and silly and different from us. 

Okay, Linghot just blew away. I don't think he meant to.

I can still see him. He's like Mary Poppins. Only he's not holding an umbrella and he's flailing his arms a lot and screaming. At least I think he's screaming. He's got such a little Sherpa voice I really can't tell.

Yeah. It's screaming. He seems pretty upset. This wind is pretty strong and it's blowing him across to the other big mountain peak. I'm gonna watch a bit.

Wow. Linghot is one, lucky Sherpa. The wind blew him right to the other mountain peak. I see him standing there. I'm gonna take a picture.

Okay. Here's the picture. I don't know if you can see but Linghot is way over there on that peak. He's just a little speck. But he's standing there. I think he's giving me the finger. Ha ha ha. What a little Sherpa thing to do. Well, one good thing; he can't get Swine Flu way over there. 

I'm gonna start down now. Tell you the truth, I've sorta been avoiding going down because there's this frozen, dead guy we passed on the way up. It's a real bummer.

Oh, well. I gotta go anyway. One of the other Sherpas is making us something freeze dried for lunch. I think it's beef stroganoff. 

I wonder how Linghot would say stroganoff? Probably, "Stogoogop." Ha ha. Silly, little Sherpa.


  1. Can join the world where you live? It sounds fascinating...

  2. It's funny. Yesterday, for no reason, I had the opening scene of The Cloud running through my head.

  3. This is similar to how I pictured you meeting your wife. "Her accent is funny. It makes me laugh. Ha ha ha ha! You should hear the way she says things. What a Cuban thing to do."

  4. Paul, I love your work and don't mean to nitpick your blogging and your writing skill which has been such a great source of entertainment for me.

    But this is the second time I've noted this in one of your posts, and I'm having a very difficult time stifling my inner Grammar Nazi.

    So I'll express this in the form of a haiku:

    "'Breath' is a noun, but
    'breathe' is a verb," Craig said and
    then breathed his last breath.

  5. Craig,

    I have fixed breathe to reflect its verbyness.