And so, I've decided to announce the top searches that brought people to the happy place of Froynlaven. I have a little thingy here that allows me to see what people were looking for when they wound up here. I can also see their social security numbers, all credit card information, parole reports, reading history, health records and pretty accurate life-expectancy graph.
All this information allows me to steal virtually everyone's identity and buy things for my daughter at American Girl. (I probably shouldn't be admitting any of this, but I promise I only take $100 per person. Never any more than that. Seriously. What's $100 dollars? Plus, things are pretty expensive at American Girl. There's this plastic horse that's like 120 bucks. And you should see how my daughter's face lights up when I give her all that fun doll stuff. When she's older I'll tell her I was only able to afford it all because I scammed Froynlaven readers out of money. But, let's not talk about any of that right now.)
And so, here are the top search words and phrases that brought people to Froynlaven. (Plus their money.)
1. "What is this nubby thing on my foot."
2. Pineapple+loose meat+airfare to Vermont
3. "Who is following me?"
4. "What is a meat bee?"
5. "This nubby thing on my foot is getting bigger."
6. recipes for yak.
8. "My foot is one big nub."
9. "How to spray paint a bird."
10. "My nub is growing eyes."
11. dogs+bottom scooting+odor
12. "My foot nub wants food."
13. "Where is Ireland?"
14. "How to kill a demonic foot nub."