Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sanso Pontapuntaquenia - Guest Blog

Felicitations, as well as words, which, when formed properly in your mouth, make the sound of "hello."

My name is Sanso Pontapuntaquenia. I am a director from Chile. 

Perhaps some of you may know me because I was the director of the Sam Plenty shows. Since that time, however, I run drippingly out of money and have been an elf at a Christmas village in Naptha, Idaho.

It is my hopes and wants to leave this elf job and return to Hollywood to make more films. I have saved much monies for this to come to be a realism. The owner of the Christmas village, Bill Huldonmuir, says he will give me the rest of my money after the busy summer season. I tell him, okay, but I need to be in Hollywood by July to start my new movie. He says okay to me. But he wants to make sure I am promising to be an elf for June. This is when families on trips come by to see many of us fake elves frolic like elves. (By the way, they are looking for a Santa in case any of you are in need of monies. The other Santa got bit by a deer and they had to amputate him.)

And this, great people, is why I have, with words, asked Paul Rugg to help disperse my message to you for hearing and reading.

I want to start filming my new movie as soon as I return from being a fake elf. I am looking for actors with male and female abilities. I am looking for crew peoples. I also need

1. A camera with motion abilities.
2. Film enough for a movie to be used in the camera with motion abilities.
3. Sound devices.
4. Cords for the hooking up of devices of all sorts.
5. A writer for the idea I have.
6. Cookers of food for feeding many of us.
7. Places to do all of this.
8. Outdoor rain and snow.
9. A tame bear with non-biting action.
10. 9 trained Llamas with clipped hind-ends.
11. Monkeys of various sizes. (Not all have to be living.)
12. Pixie sticks with sand candy inside for the giving out to actors who are doing well.
13. Felt. I would like black, but blue, red and green will be helpful to my needs.
14. Chairs for sitting to have conversations.
15. Un-cooked elbow macaroni for special effects and set building.
16. Monster costumes with nuclear burns because this is important.
17. A lazy cat who can jump in a comical way.
18. A moon man who is important.
19. Cix cups of brown sugar. (Tightly packed.)
20. A person.
21. Space ship which can grow to great sizes because of it's magical abilities.
22. 3 live hams.
23. 1 fake live ham.
24. A large painting of 6 live hams. If this has a puppy in it that would be okay. But no trees.
25. Sticks of many sizes but not too big.
26. A wedding spool.
27. 2 ceremonial cords of uneven lengths.
28. Someone who used to be a mechanic but is no longer because of various difficulties.
29. 5 gallons of white out. (For the macaroni.)
30. Various shapes.

Paul has made with agreement to let me communicate with you in the approaching weeks to let you know of my needs for the movie. I shall be doing more of this!

If you have anything of my needs, please and Paul to know of it.

May a Lamma kiss the small of your back.

Sanso.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sanso! I am a huge fan of your works! [More a fan of you than your works actually..]

    I can provide cookers as I just bought a bunch of expensive nifty pots and pans. They're so nifty I get to pay them off in paymennts and I probably can't afford them. So you know they're good!

    I also have a person, 3 live hams and a fake live ham, but only if we're talking metiphorical.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have the paintings of the hams. How much are you offering?

    Fenwick R. Wilnern
    Piscataway, NJ

    ReplyDelete
  4. You have my ax, Sanso.

    -Troy

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think I have a person, too. I'll have to check my closet.

    Wait... does the person have to be living?

    I'm certain that, in one of these boxes, I have outdoor rain and snow.

    Alas, no llamas. Will alpacas do?

    I'm sure I can get you at least one actor with male and female abilities. (I am from Santa Cruz, after all...)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha, you made me crack up Troy

    Sanzo, can I get a wedding spool at any Michaels?

    ReplyDelete