Monday, May 24, 2010

HOW TO WASTE TIME

I have a 30 page script due in 9 days. This morning I started the script by typing, "FADE IN:" That was three hours ago.

Since then I have been deeply engaged in a website that tells you what TV stars you think are dead...aren't. James Arness is still with us.

This is James Arness.


















And he's still with us. (In case I haven't made that clear.)

Now back to the script which is due in 9 days. It seems that I wrote more than "FADE IN:" this morning. I also wrote, "EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - MORNING. An imposing figure in silhouette."

I don't know why I didn't finish that sentence. "An imposing figure in silhoutte..." The imposing figure in silhouette should be doing something. I probably didn't write what the imposing figure in silhouette was doing because it would have been wrong and I would have to continue writing to get it right...and that, my friends...is why finding out what TV stars I think were dead...but aren't...became so important.

The not-dead TV stars website also linked me to the vitally important "What Names Famous Stars Were Born With."

Did you know, Alan Alda's real name is Alfonso Joseph D'Abruzzo?

This is Alan Alda.


















He's not dead either.

The bottom line here is that the very first page in a script is the least pleasant. If I could skip over that page and move to page 19...that would be dandy. By page 19, there's no time to worry if it's all working, because a dealine. You gotta finish. But page one. That dreary, nasty, extremely temperamental page one is the hardest of pages. Each word is fraught with peril. It's a minefield of options...

On any other day I would never consider for a moment wanting to know who's alive that I think is dead. Only page one days like this cause my mind to seek refuge wherever I can. Sometimes, page one days...as this one is turning out to be...has caused me to scour YOUTUBE for videos of dogs doing stupid things. Hours. And hours.

Which, by the way, leads me to this video. Enjoy...

"

I'm not proud that I spent many hours finding this video. It's that damn page one thing!

Anyway, I better go. I need to figure out what the imposing figure in silhouette is going to do. Chances are the first 15 things won't be right.

I hate page one.

4 comments:

  1. Ah yes. I have suffered a similar syndrome called Paragraph One. In my days as a newspaper reporter dude, so many times I would lie in bed for hours mulling over how to start the article I needed to write.

    Then I'd get up and goof off online until about an hour before deadline.

    Then I'd write a sentence.

    Then I'd delete that sentence.

    Then I'd write another one. Probably re-wording it a bit.

    Then I'd realize I have 20 minutes left and write everything else in a hurry.

    Then probably change the first paragraph.

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  2. HAHAHA That poor dog was concerned he had a problem.

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  3. Can the imposing figure in silouhete be working on page one?

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  4. Procrastination is good way to start working.

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