Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I just found out from my agent that I've been chosen to develop a very interesting project. It seems the country's lousy economy is partly responsible for this amazing (and what could be highly lucrative) opportunity. I can't really go into all at the moment because it's still hush-hush and all that sort of thing. But what I can tell you is...

It's for Warner Brothers. Nelm Binsk and Stacey Meinhoff are producing under their Wee Wee Works production arm at Warners. Gregory Moot and Guy Vick will oversee the production for Warners with Pamela Pinzky-Grunion exec producing. Lou Yentz and Gerald Zimm will line produce. It's from an original idea by Stacey Rigor-Ling, Len Thweel, Steve Bodolei, Michael Rude, Aron Lewski, Karen Cibbage-Hess and Armand Baywosenthal.

Again, I can't go into much detail...but...

It seems that money's a little tight at all the studios at the moment and what with the fear of an actors strike and all...my job will be to go through all the deleted scenes from every Warners movie of the past ten years and see if I can string them into one self-contained movie. Normally the deleted scenes from a particular movie are saved for use on the bonus feature segments of DVD releases but...with money so tight, the studios are looking to squeeze out every drop they can.

There are close to 10,000 hours of deleted scenes from over 312 movies to go through, but, heck, it's work, right?

The biggest challenge is that the studio has already decided that the new feature must, and I quote from the deal memo here...

"...must be primarily about an albino boy with shingles who befriends an ape."

Unfortunately the way the deal is structured, there's no money up front. I have three months to go through all 10,000 hours and, using my laptop, cut it into a movie of no more than 97 minutes. Upon delivery the studio has five years to view the material and, upon approval, pay me one-sixteenth of my fee. After that, they have an additional 30 years to request any revisions. However, and my agent fought hard for this...if they decide to scrap the project after thirty years...I get an IPOD Nano. So...

Anyway...got lot's to do.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Yeah, you need a new agent.

    "I have three months to go through all 10,000 hours and, using my laptop, cut it into a movie of no more than 97 minutes."
    Don't people do this every single day on YTMND, and upload them into 3 second segments?

  3. Well, as long as Len Thweel is involved, you should be in good shape. I mean, Len's a funny guy. Or at least he was, up to the accident. I've never heard of Yentz but Zimm worked on that Gussy Plotkin feature at MGM, so he's gotta know soemthing. The biggest problem I foresee for you on this thing is Moot. What a first class a-hole. And, while I'm on the subject, Pinsky-Grunion can kiss my you-know-what.
    But good luck with it!
    Those IPod Nanos are cool!
    today's word verification: "ounslath"

  4. Stacey Rigor-ling was my assistant for a while. I guarantee it was she who came up with the ape part. Oddly enough, when the revised "Planet of the Apes" script was making its rounds, she suggested doing it with marmots instead. And then we pointed out the name would have to change. She just stared at us blankly.

    I heard she's getting promoted.