Wednesday, March 11, 2009


So, I'm exhausted. I spent the morning practicing being a color commentator for the sport of curling. I must say I think I'm improving, but it's still difficult to pretend to be watching a curling game/match while adding interesting comments about imaginary players. Plus, I have to pretend that the guy I'm sitting next to is actually there. That's a lot to keep track of.

Still, like I said, I think I'm actually doing very well and hope to have a demo tap to send off to NBC by the end of the week. Not that they've contacted me or anything. They've haven't. But, maybe they're just waiting to see if I'm any good.

So, I have a favor. Would you all mind listening to this very short demo and let me know what you think? Again, there is no real match. There's nobody doing ply-by-play. It's just me trying to be the best color commentator I can be.

By the way, I'm pretending that the guy I'm working with is named, Chuck. That's why I say "Chuck" a lot. 

Okay. Here goes:


  1. Haha, nice first try! I think it will sound more natural when you actually have refrences to look at.

  2. "That broom or mop thingee was given to her by her father before he died of a brain aneurism - Ha haaaa."

    Definite "Broadcasting Hall of Fame" material.

    Interestingly enough,

    Angus Griffle
    Sign-o-the-Wisp Avenue
    Ponce de Leon, Utah

  3. Based on the first two posts, I guess you guys think I'm pretty good. I must confess I am in complete agreement. I think it's wonderful and hardly need any improvement.

    So, thank you.


  4. I sure hope Hans sees it that way...

  5. I think you are trying too hard. You don't need to yell during a curling match; the audience isn't that loud during a curling match.

    Also, you should really get your terminology down.

    Then you won't stumble quite as much.

  6. Bryan,

    Thank you. I agree that what I did was pretty good. Thank you. I can't believe you all liked it this much!

    I'm on my way to the Olympics after NBC hears this!


  7. I appreciated hearing your audition, it made my belly feel less sick. However, as a professional curling fan, I think you have a great deal to improve upon until you can actually become a professional color commentator for curling. Your commentating must be smoother. You must employ more grace, such as that of the curling stone as it glides across the ice. More coughing, perhaps, is needed as well, to emulate the scraping sounds of the curling brush. You must make us listeners feel as if we are actually there! Anyway, I will share this with my friends in the curling community and see what they think.

  8. Mr. Rugg,

    I say with the absolute of certainty, that you most definitely can and will give Bill Walton a run for his money.

    We must find you a catchphrase, and it must be done quickly.

    Forever riding on the coattails of your color commentating legacy,


  9. Hans,

    I am honored! You love it! You really love it! I have to say...I do to. It's some of the best stuff I've ever done.

    Of course, some people might say I need a little improvement. And, I'm going to work on that. I WILL BE SMOOTHER, HANS. I WILL.

    I'm coming up with a catch phrase...and it must be done quickly. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll have my catchphrase.



  10. How about, "As I always say, Chuck: in curling you're only ever a stone's throw away from victory, ha haa!"

    Or... "Oooh, now they're between a rock and... another rock! Ha haa!'

    Maybe a bit of humor like, "You know why curling is the best sport on TV, Chuck? 'cause it's always on during sweeps! Ha haa!"

  11. ooh ooh, or how about "The French were completely unprepared, Chuck. I tell ya, the Canadians really mopped the floor with 'em. Ha haa!"

    "Looks like they're gonna sweep the series, as well as the ice! Ha haa!"

    "The game/match is about to get under way. Let's rock'n'roll... no, actually, let's rock'n'slide! Ha haa!" (That'll put Darrell Waltrip's "boogity boogity boogity" to shame!)

  12. Oh. Oh, my gosh. That audition was just DREADful. Why, it was almost as bad as looking at the photo of that little boy with the boobies up there. Little boobie boy. No, I didn't care for that recording at all, but the picture of you was quite handsome. I am worried about the boobie boy now. His physique is abnormal. Perhaps he needs more dietary fiber or some such. Is there a place I could send money to help the poor little boobie boy?

    Fern Grable
    Retired Propeller
    Provo, AZ

  13. Oh man, you gave Keeper an excuse to come up with puns. We'll have to get his medication.

  14. Fern,

    Thank you so much! Yes, I agree I was quite good. It really is amazing to hear from everyone and to find out how much they liked my audition. I take great comfort in that.

    As far as Little Boobie Boy; I think making fun of the way people look is cruel. Perhaps you need to think about your post. That little Boobie Boy is on this site every day. He's probably read what you just said. But, if you enjoy being cruel...


  15. Taki, an old friend of mine in Santa Cruz once said to me, "I envy you. You have all the effects without the drugs!"

    A colleague in the college newspaper said, "You remind me of my friends in the '60s when they were on speed."

    So, y'know... to paraphrase one of Paul's Animaniacs scripts: I'm not on drugs; I really am this way. Aren't I lucky?

    But you want to put me on drugs? Have you any idea what might happen if you did? I don't even take painkillers... The world is unprepared.

    This sport looks awfuly exciting, Paul!
    You might need to amp up your energy!

  17. I think you will definately be hired by NBC. I called them up today and talked to the head honcho. He was a really stupid guy. When I mentioned your name, he didn't even know who you were. I summoned as much disbelief and scorn into my voice as possible and said,"You mean you've NEVER heard of Paul Rugg?! Paul Rugg, who won an Emmy? Paul Rugg who won a Peabody? What kind of idiot are you?"

    He seemed pretty embarrassed, so I felt kind of guilty,but hey - it's a dog eat dog world. You gotta do what you gotta do.

    Best of luck!